Countdown

How long will I continue like this?

Breath deep,
Clenched fists,
Eyes down.

How long will I count down?

10
Breath.
9
Turn around.
8
Breath again.
7
Ball fists.
6
Resist all urges to turn back around.
5
Walk away.
4
Keep walking.
3
Slam the door.
2
Scream.
1
Scream LOUDER.

I can't keep the countdown up.
I'm drained.
Your drained.
All the while ill die inside.

You'll brush it off.
That's fine, brush me off.
One day ill have that courage to do it to you.
One day you'll realize I don't need you.
I never did.

Till then....
Ill count again.

10
9
8

Musings of a girl hating the countdowns