Guilt

Theirs a little voice in the back of my head that says I don't do enough. Every time I feel that everything is right in the world, that little hint of guilt comes in and I find I'm rethinking all of my actions in a short span of time. What if I didn't do enough? What if the end comes sooner then we all thought? What if while I'm away that's it?

The regret is so strong it literally a grip on me at all times. The pain is something that's not new, but it's a constant now. I feel if I haven't done my part then who will? Will I be able to live with myself if I'm not there. They are my everything....

Very few people are like that in my world, I feel that if I'm not around that everything will pass me by and that's it, nothing. I'll be left there feeling the guilt for the rest of my life, what am I to do then?

Babies are on there way and my answer is sad,"Depending on class I'll be there,"

I see no one for a week and my mother wants to do something, my answer,"I made plans to see them, since it's been three weeks,"

Laying on the guilt without realizing it, and then to stand there and say "Oh don't worry I'm use to it..." Don't throw my fucking excuses in my face. But knowing were I get it from doesn't come as a shock anymore....